Archives for posts with tag: self care

Soooooo… today, I’m laying face down on a massage table, in the middle of what was a very unremarkable massage, when I heard the following two words in my mind, “limiting beliefs”. I had the most powerful urge to ask the therapist to write the words down. I quickly realized she would not have a pen, so, I lay there repeating them over in my mind, as not to forget.

Beliefs are very powerful tools of the mind. Beliefs about ourselves, our society, our planet, all play a huge role in how we live our daily lives. Our reality is shaped by these beliefs. One of my personal favorite beliefs is that hard work is rewarded with results, in any situation. I believe that if I work very hard and apply myself to a situation, the results will be positive. This is a belief that I was taught by my parents. It’s been so useful in my life and I pass it on to others with enthusiasm.

But what about beliefs that are limiting? First of all, just saying those words feels like letting the air out of a birthday balloon, it just deflates your spirit! There are so many of us walking through life carrying mental lists of limiting beliefs. We may be conscious of them or not, but they sabotage our efforts to live full happy lives. Notice how your body feels when you recognize a limiting belief. For me it feels like complete exhaustion and bewilderment. Not one part of that limiting belief feels peaceful or empowering.

Being able to recognize a belief that limits you is the first step towards releasing it. Awareness creates an environment that encourages us to challenge and change these beliefs. Spend some time writing down your own limiting beliefs. Or, work backwards, what in your life is causing you pain and disappointment? Look around the situation, do you see a limiting belief that is the culprit?

Limitlessly believing in ourselves is the only way to go in this life!  Try it for yourself… ♥

How many times in life do you find yourself praying and hoping for a dream to be fulfilled?  You find yourself lost in the thought of how you are going to achieve this dream.  You know, the strategy… you try to work it!

“If I did this or I acted this way, if I was available or not available, if I followed up or didn’t follow up…”  the list goes on and on depending on the outcome your are trying to achieve. What I notice about all this strategy is an element of control.  We try to control the situation and affect it to achieve the outcome that is the most desirable for us.  There it is, the problem… control.

Notice how you feel in your body when you are trying to control a situation.  For me, my neck and jaw are the truth.  If my neck is killing me and my jaw hurts, you better believe that I’m trying to control a situation.  I’m laughing just thinking about this!  It’s so obvious…

Believing in a power greater than yourself requires a willingness to release control and have faith that the events in your life are unfolding for your greater good…

Practice adding those three words to your daily meditations.  Notice how you feel when you hope for something that is for your greater good.  For me, it’s  a well of peace.  Experience it for yourself. ♥

Oh dear, I broke my toe this week…  I didn’t even know it happened!  You know how sometimes, you just bang your foot against a door or piece of furniture?  You make the necessary motions to acknowledge the pain.  I’m  laughing thinking about this.  It happened on Monday morning.  I was so focused on all that I needed to accomplish that week, I didn’t even flinch really.  I just kept right on going.  Of course wearing the wrong shoes and then going in and out of the subway about 50 times.  You see where I’m going with this right… Denial.

So, when I finally made it home, and took off my shoe, I saw the most pitiful sight.  My poor toe was purple, swollen, and looking slightly out of joint.  The only thought that came into my head was… how am I going to make it through all of my appointments with this swollen, non functioning toe?  I gave her NO down time…

I Googled “broken toe”.  I know you are laughing right now.  Seriously, I think Google is the high priestess of the everyday situation.  Since I was clearly not going to the doctor, Google would have to suffice.  This is when the interesting thing happened.  I discovered the “buddy toe”.  It makes me laugh just thinking about it.  When your toe is broken, you tape it to the toe next to it, “the buddy”, to provide stability until the healing process can finish.   So, I taped the broken toe to its buddy and continued on with my week.  The ship kept sailing, so to speak.

The buddy toe got me thinking about how some of us are wounded in life and keep going.  There is no time to stop.  We have to be the functioning wounded.   We don’t even acknowledge our wounds, for fear they will keep us from participating in life.  It can be draining to carry these wounds in and out of our days.  What if we were to “tape” ourselves to a “buddy” while this wound is healing?  I am thinking of someone in your life who is functioning and capable of being strong for both of you.  You infuse yourself with the strength and energy of the other until you are able to go on your own,  just like the buddy toe.

Think about it… give yourself the gift of the “buddy toe” when you need it and share your “strong toe” with another when you are able.  The healing process will strengthen you both… ♥

I’ve been reading this book about the soul and consciousness… I’m not sure why I even picked this book to read, maybe it picked me!   In any case, I’m engrossed in these pages and I’m stuck on a particular segment of the book.  It’s about the heart, that beautiful piece of anatomy that keeps us alive and holds our emotions.  What does it mean to live with an open heart?

Did you notice that your heart can’t lie?  For me, my heart holds truth.  My mind, that’s another matter.  I am a master at justifying a decision or thought.  I can provide logic, relevant examples, scientific findings, you name it.  The more detail the better.   However, if I quiet my mind and run the event or decision past my heart, the truth of the matter is evident.  There can be no other argument.  The heart has final say and is always on target.

So, knowing how valuable the heart is as a tool in life, why would we ever close it?  Because it houses emotions and they are often extremely painful.  You know this to be true.  Some of life’s events are so gut wrenching.  The heart literally bleeds with pain and sorrow.  Other times, its joy and happiness we experience.  These emotions are just as strong, but they are positive. Whatever the event or situation, the feelings are originating from the heart.

For me, living with an open heart means allowing all this feeling to flow and not holding good feelings or denying bad ones.  Just being with the feelings, letting them take space, expand, explode, trickle down, whatever!  The more I try to hold or deny the feeling, the more cut off I am from my beautiful, truthful heart.  She’s my biggest ally in life.  She is a well to my deepest source of energy.   I’m grateful for the opportunity to practice living with my heart open each day.

How about you?  What does it mean to live with an open heart for you?  ♥

Ok, I’m referring to the Superman series here…  You know, Superman had one weakness that made his SUPER powers disappear, it was Kryptonite.  Presented with this dreaded substance, he became weak and vulnerable, just like the rest of us humans.

Falling in love is a bit like meeting a personal form of Kryptonite.   I know you are laughing right now.  Kryptonite is the enemy, right?  Think about it,  when you fall in love, you come up against something that makes you weak, you allow yourself to become vulnerable.  You do things that you normally wouldn’t.   You find yourself in all kinds of new and sometimes strange situations.  Vulnerability is a key ingredient in the game of love, without it you stay in your SUPER human and protected form.  When you are willing to be vulnerable, you begin to share your world with someone, and that’s how love grows.

What if the “dreaded” kryptonite is exactly what is required to fall in love?  It seems impossible to think that something so feared might actually bring you love.  Take some time to process this.  What does your personal kryptonite look like?  Is it a feeling, a physical attribute, a personality trait?  How does it render you weak?

Next time you are faced with kryptonite, reach for it…♥

Sometimes you are rolling along in life, thinking everything is status quo, moving through your days and nights, until IT happens.  The Red Flag is thrown.  This can be anything, an accident, a financial reversal, a health crisis, the end result is that you are forced to face something you have been ignoring for a very long time.  The universe is basically telling you that its time to snap out of it, and deal with whatever has been lurking on the back burner.

The size of the red flag is in direct relationship to your need to address the problem.  Some red flags are little, in fact they are so little, that you can possibly ignore them.  This, of course, is a bad idea, but we all do it.  It works for  a while until the next red flag is thrown.  This time its a little larger and harder to sweep away.  You see the point I’m making.  Ignoring your red flags can only lead to setbacks and suffering.  You have to face head on what you have been denying or hiding.  It takes effort and courage to face a red flag, but it’s also a great time to make a 180 degree turn in your life.  Think of it as coming to the fork in the road… now you will choose to go a different direction.

Can you think of any red flags that you have been ignoring?  Have you had any giant upsets in the past because you ignored too many of them?  Remember, the universe is always communicating with us, if we choose to be aware and accept the information.  Use these reminders to make changes for the better.  ♥

I was working the other day with a group of my regular clients and we started talking about self-care rituals.  What I found so interesting about the conversation is that all these women of different ages and stages in life were describing the same kind of ritual.  You know what it was?  It was meditation or prayer, depending on your religious background.  They each took some private, quiet time at the end of each day to center themselves and meditate.  Most of them did this in bed, before they went to sleep.  It helped them regain some sense of inner peace and perspective on their day.

I thought this was a very beautiful moment.  I see people from all different walks of life on a regular basis, different cultures, races, religions, ages, sexual preferences…you name it.  What I saw was that we are all the same at our very core.  When you strip away all the layers of identity, we just want love and peace.  When we spend time creating this love and peace for ourselves, we can share it with others in our lives.  It’s a spillover effect.  Just like these wonderful ladies shared this moment with me, you can share yours in your world.  ♥

What kind of self-care ritual do you have in place to create peace in your heart?  If you don’t have one, this is a great time to start!

I was sitting at the nail salon the other day. (I am serious about manicures!)  I have a routine that puts me in the chair at least once every couple of weeks.  While I was there, I overheard another woman speaking about her mother coming to visit.  She was there to get a manicure before her mom arrived.  She went on to say that her mom was always perfect, in every way.  She was perfectly dressed, pressed, manicured, made up, you know how it goes.  After she listed her mother’s many attributes, she began to list her own FLAWS!  She started with her ears, then her hair, and the list kept growing.  As she was listing all these flaws and how she was working around them, I thought to myself, what if all these flaws are really what makes her beautiful?  What if the worst parts of us are really the best in us?

I know what you are thinking, now she’s really lost her mind!  How can our flaws possibly be our assets?  We all have these parts of us that we diligently try to disguise and eliminate.  We spend a lot of time and energy working through these flaws.  We judge ourselves because of these flaws.  We decide that these flaws makes us not good enough.

As sure as I am sitting here typing these words, I want you to know that these flaws are what makes us beautiful and human. Embracing these unique qualities makes you a whole person.  Who are you to let others tell you what is beautiful or perfect?  Start embracing what is your worst and seeing it as your most beautiful.  It will change you, I promise.♥

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