Archives for posts with tag: happiness

The Don’t Quit poem is one of my favorites.  In my family the saying was ” a quitter never wins, and a winner never quits”.  There are times in life where you can feel pretty defeated.  You probably ask yourself, how did I get here?  Then, you review all the little decisions or non-decisions from your past.  Now, you are really swimming in the defeat and you feel hopeless.

The challenge you face might seem insurmountable, but you must KEEP GOING.  As the poem states, “success is failure turned inside out”.  You never know what is around the corner.  It might be the best moment of your life!

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow–
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out–
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit–
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

– Author unknown

John Mayer lays it right out there, “Say what you need to say … even if your hands are shaking…or your faith is broken…”

What would you say if you had no limits?  Who would you say it to?  Would it be someone you love or maybe yourself?  When you say what you need to say from your heart, the world begins to sparkle.  You see events, people, and nature as you’ve never seen them before.  Your heart will swell with all the beauty surrounding you.  You will be free in your own mind.  Love will swallow your heart and make you glow.  Instead of existing in this world, you begin to LIVE!

All the joy, love and life that you have been wishing for is in front of you.  DEVOUR IT!  Just say what you need to say…

You know about fear, right?  It’s that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you know what you must do, but haven’t started the action.  You hear the little voice inside sometimes in a whisper, sometimes in a scream, but always begging to be heard.  Fear makes you want to turn the volume down on this voice.  You want to run from it or bury it.  You see the picture I’m painting…

What we don’t explore is what’s on the other side of fear.  Facing a fear can be TRANSFORMATIONAL!  Stepping in to fear takes courage, but the payoff on the other side is so worthwhile.  Each time you face a fear, whether it is big or small, you build a little more strength and courage.  You stand a little taller, smile a little brighter, walk a little lighter…you evolve as a person.  ♥

So, the next time FEAR is staring you down or screaming in your ear, how are you going to answer it?  

I had the pleasure of attending a women’s healing circle on Friday night.  We met to share fellowship and gather strength from each other as we enter the holiday season.  The guest speaker for the night was a student of Buddhism and teaches meditation to the community.  She gave us many insights and tools for coping with our holiday schedules and relationships.  It was a wonderful night where complete strangers came to know each other as friends by gathering in a circle and sharing our thoughts about life.  

One of the most powerful meditations we practiced that night was to see each other not just as women, but to see each other as the light of the universe, in the form of a woman.  So, through the meditation, we gazed around the circle, acknowledging this light in each other.  It was so beautiful and moving.

I started to think about what it would be like to look for this light in each person you encounter through your day.  What kind of vision do you need to be able to see this light?  I don’t think its anything special.  It’s just a practice of looking for the beauty and light in someone before you see the other stuff.  You are recognizing something in them that comes from a much deeper place.  When you acknowledge this light in them, you see that the two of you are really connected by the same source.  It’s a great experiment.  In this way, we see that we are all brothers and sisters of a larger universal family.  ♥

Try this experiment for yourself.  How does it make you feel to see this beautiful light in a total stranger?  What kind of light do you see in yourself?

Yesterday as I was rushing down the sidewalk to meet a friend for lunch, I noticed my shadow!  I had my iphone in hand and was taking photos of the leaves.  They are finally changing colors and I was happy to see them in all their glory.  Seeing my shadow on the sidewalk made me think about what our shadows say about us.  Obviously, they change in different clothing, light, and actions, but what can you determine about yourself from investigating your shadow…

So, looking at the shadow you see here, what do you think about this woman?  I was immediately struck by her foundation.  It is broad and strong.  She is sturdy.  She looks as if she could easily withstand a hurricane or earthquake.  Her handbag is also big!  She must be carrying the world in that thing.  It also looks like she is prepared.  You just know that inside this bag there is bound to be anything required to remedy a crisis.  Her arms are strong.  They are not only carrying this giant bag, but they are propelling her forward in life.  They are “can do” arms, capable and trustworthy.  Last, I see her head and hair.  It has movement.  One side seems to be flying backward in the breeze, while the other side is seductively curling under.  She is relaxed in the breeze and feminine at the same time.

Going a step further, I realize that I have just described myself and it makes me laugh!  It am absolutely sturdy.  My frame is built to withstand storms.  I always carry the biggest handbag.  It does contain everything under the sun.  It supplies me and anyone around with life’s little necessities.  My arms are also strong and capable.  Believe me, many times I’ve asked why do I have such big arms…now I know that they are what’s pushing me forward in life.  Finally, the head is absolutely me.  I am feminine and I do appreciate the carefree moments in life.  Who knew we could gain so much insight just by examining our shadows!

What kind of shadow do you cast?  Try this experiment with your own shadow, you can give me the details later.  What do you see? ♥

You know when you get a cut or bruise, you stop to clean the wound and put a band-aid on it, because you want it to heal in a speedy way and without infection.  You check in on your wound throughout the healing process.  You change the band-aid, apply additional medicine, soak it…whatever it takes to advance the healing process.  By the end of a week or a month, depending on the wound, you are up and running!  The body is so great that way, it has the ability to heal itself.  It just takes some care and nurturing to assist the process.

What about an emotional wound?  How do you assist the healing process of an emotional wound?  This is a big subject.  I mean, many of us do not even realize that we are emotionally wounded.  So we walk around with this hidden wound.  It causes us pain, but because we are not acknowledging this wound, it festers and gets deeper.  Just as if it were a cut or scrape that got infected.  It becomes more and more tender and the pain increases, until there is an explosion.  Emotional wounds are no different from physical wounds.  They impede us in our development if we don’t assist them in the healing process.  I know this, because I carry some big emotional wounds.  I see that by not acknowledging them, I am actually making them worse.  So, how do I nurture them?

The first step toward healing is to acknowledge that you have this wound.  Take a minute and talk to yourself as if you are talking to a friend and really listen to the pain you have been carrying.  This is probably the hardest step, but the most important.  Next, you will have to clean this wound.  I’m thinking of bodywork, massages, yoga, or physical comforting of yourself.  Treat yourself as you would a close friend.  Be patient and gentle with your body and feelings.  Take time to release these feelings.  Write them down, cry about them, just slowly let go of them.  It is going to take some time, especially if you have been carrying this wound for a long while.  Finally, check in with this wound.  Over time, after repeated care and nurturing, you will see the wound is healing.  You will know it has healed, when you or someone else acknowledges the wound and you no longer feel the pain.  You will be able to talk about it as an event in the past and you will finally be free.  ♥

Do you have an emotional wound that needs to heal?  Is it keeping you from living your life fully?  What ideas do you have about your healing process?  

I was out for dinner with a friend last week and we started discussing our life’s events.  We met someone new at the place and through our conversation he posed a wonderful question.  How do we know when we are living the good times? This question was so good, that we all just sat there, silent for a moment, trying to come up with some ideas for an answer.  You know what?  Not one of us came up with a good suggestion.

I started to think about what defines “a good time” in life.  It’s starts by reviewing the events of your life.  It can be by ages, relationships, jobs, living situations, whatever comes to mind.  You will get an overall feeling for that period of time.  It can be good, bad or just indifference.  Once you have the overall feeling, look deeper at the reasons for the feeling.  For example, if you were really happy in your 20’s, you might see that you had an active social life or you were traveling a lot.  There will be details that make this period of time great.  This theory works for the reverse also.  If you were miserable, was it because you were unemployed or fighting with your spouse?  You see my point.

Now, go a step further, take the details of the feeling of happiness and apply it to your current life.  Do you see any similarities?  In this way, we are able to identify good times as they are currently happening.  What I found interesting about this experiment is that the details of my life that lead to happiness were very small moments, strung together.  I wasn’t always in the perfect circumstances, but daily or weekly there were little moments of joy that became a chain of happiness.  ♥

Perform your own experiment for identifying the good times.  Once you learn to recognize happiness, you might be living the good times right now!

I heard someone say the other day that love is all around you.  I’m thinking to myself, what does he mean?  Where is the love?  What does it look like?  Why do I have such a hard time seeing it?  I was looking for my idea of love.  You know, the image I have in my mind of what love looks like.  But, what does love ACTUALLY look like?

Love is about connection. It’s not just the connection between two people in love.  It is an energy that is passed from one person to another, it’s a feeling.  For me, love feels warm and peaceful.  It’s like looking at a great painting, it always makes me stop and take a breath.  Love can be small.  Its movement is delicate and unspoken.  Look for the action that love generates.  When a mother holds her child’s hand… When a friend greets you with a hug…  When your spouse gives you his coat because you are cold…  You see that love really is all around us.

Love isn’t just for the people you know, it’s there for your fellow-man.  Love can pass between strangers on the street.  I once saw an older man fall while walking along the river in downtown Manhattan.  It was dark and his knees were bad and he literally could not get up.  A younger man, turned and saw what had happened, then quickly picked up the fallen man and set him on his way.  That was love in action.  It was very beautiful to see.  I couldn’t help thinking, that we are all here for each other in life, just at different stages.

Practice looking for the love around you in the world.  Let me know what you see.  You will be surprised at how rich your world is with love. ♥

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