Archives for posts with tag: decisions

Have you ever been in a situation that wasn’t quite right for you, but you can’t seem to let go? Instead, you spend time on it, you actually invest in it…

You try different approaches… I mean, we are all problem solvers, right? Who doesn’t want the challenge of solving a problem, especially for yourself. This is an investment of logic and time.

You make deals with it… I am the master at making deals with myself. Internal negotiation of the situation keeps it at bay. You can still remain comfortable and safe in your current environment. There is no risk involved. You are again, investing precious time.

You pretend about it… This is another favorite of mine. You make up a story about what is happening. You put a “spin” on it that is favorable. You may even share this story with others, to keep away their honest remarks about the truth. Again, you invest time and creativity to keep this story running.

Finally, you just plain ignore it… I’ve spoken about this before. It’s actually the most destructive way to handle the situation. Ignoring a personal truth or situation is a sure path to heartache. Life will send you signs that you are off course. Each time you ignore it, you get further from your path. It’s tiring to continue to ignore a situation. It requires an energy investment, it’s like running multiple electronic devices off of one outlet… Eventually you blow the fuse.

Do you notice a common theme in the above? They are all depleting activities. They deplete your time, your energy, your resources, etc. The longer it goes on, the more you feel exhausted. Eventually, you will be so tired, you will see the only option is to move on.

When you move on in life and invest in a new direction, that supports your highest self, you are energized, rather than depleted. Let go of the old and create the new, see what happens. You might be surprised…

Lately, I’ve been dropped into the world of architecture. Architects design the plans that are the blueprint for homes and buildings. They assemble all the elements… your chosen location, your local laws regarding construction, and your needs and dreams for the plan of your home.

There is something interesting about this process… Every project has multiple solutions for creating the desired outcome. Architects are experts at surveying the big picture, visualizing solutions and identifying the one that BEST suits the situation. Architects are not only creative, but practical… they have to produce results. Choosing the best solution is what makes them effective.

I was wondering the other day if we could apply the same logic to designing our lives. We have all been in a place where we need to create change, but are unable to start. It seems daunting…

Lets apply their process to our own journey… Starting with your dreams and desires, work backwards and identify behaviors and activities that could help move you toward your goal. Get into the details of it… What are the long-term and short-term activities that will lead you in the right direction? Write them down, even better make a technical diagram of what they look like physically. Add pictures and drawings to illustrate your path. What comes 1st, 2nd, etc. See them on paper in a format like a blueprint or flow chart, use big arrows and be specific. Look for multiple solutions on your chart. Meditate on the possibilities. You will eventually see the best choice. It will be clear on paper and in your mind. Choosing this solution will EMPOWER your journey, and it will feel PEACEFUL.

Becoming an architect in life is brilliant! It’s like your blueprint for navigating change. You know where you are going and how to get there.

What are you waiting for? Your new life is waiting…ūüĎ£

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How many times in life do you find yourself praying and hoping for a dream to be fulfilled?¬†¬†You find yourself lost in the thought of how you are going to achieve this dream. ¬†You know,¬†the strategy… you try to work it!

“If I did this or I acted this way, if I was available or not available, if I followed up or didn’t follow up…” ¬†the list goes on and on depending on the outcome your are trying to achieve. What I notice about all this strategy is an element of control. ¬†We try to control the situation and affect it to achieve the outcome that is the most desirable for us. ¬†There it is, the problem…¬†control.

Notice how you feel in your body when you are trying to control a situation. ¬†For me, my neck and jaw are the truth. ¬†If my neck is killing me and my jaw hurts, you better believe that I’m trying to control a situation. ¬†I’m laughing just thinking about this! ¬†It’s so obvious…

Believing in a power greater than yourself requires a willingness to release control and have faith that the events in your life are unfolding for your greater good…

Practice adding those three words to your daily meditations. ¬†Notice how you feel when you hope for something that is for your greater good. ¬†For me, it’s ¬†a well of peace. ¬†Experience it for yourself.¬†‚ô•

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. 

Robert Frost
I was watching a show the other day that made reference to this poem and I was reminded again of how much it speaks to me, especially the last line. ¬†I imagine most of us have been standing at a crossroads where two paths diverge, more than one time in life. ¬†We are faced with a choice about which way to travel in our lives…
Sometimes the choice is so easy, you look ahead and you see right where it will lead.  You march on down that road with confidence and conviction, your head high and your mind clear.  You can rest assured you are on the right road.
What about the other times? ¬†You know… where both choices look interesting, but you are not sure of the outcome on either road? ¬†You are hesitant and not sure or confident that either road will take you to where you belong. ¬†How do you decide what road to choose?
I’d like to think if we stand there, at that diverging road, and just pause for a moment, the choice will come. ¬†It can appear to you in a number of ways…
You might just start walking! Your body may just take control of the decision and I’ve learned from experience, always trust your body.
You might begin to see something familiar, in the distance, along one of the roads and walk towards it.
There might be a sudden gust of wind that knocks you off-balance and suddenly you are situated on one of the roads.
A friend might come along and invite you to join them on the road they are traveling. ¬†You see the point I’m making, the choice might not be direct, but you will eventually move forward!
What I’d like you to know is this… the road you choose will make all the difference. ¬†It will become the story of your life. ¬†It might not be the perfect story, you know… the one in your head where it’s always roses and candy. ¬†It will be the real story, made up of a series of diverging roads flowing one into another. ¬†It will be the beautiful and authentic story of you, so travel well…‚ô•

Have you ever thought of how choice affects your life? ¬†Think of all the decisions you make consciously or unconsciously on a daily basis. ¬†Imagine them all creating a bigger picture… ¬†This becomes your reality. ¬†We are all constantly choosing our lives… ¬†

That is a little hard to hear, right? ¬†I mean, so many times I’ve heard people describing events that supposedly just “happened”. ¬†I always wonder what choices were made prior to that moment. ¬†I especially think of this when I encounter someone who has extraordinarily bad luck. ¬†I mean, seriously, they get the whammy! ¬†Mostly, I’m seeing the end result of a series of choices, some conscious, some unconscious.

Ok, but why am I writing about choice today? ¬†Because, it’s possible to manifest all kinds of happiness, joy, and beauty in our lives by being conscious of our choices. ¬†Not just the big choices, but the little ones too. ¬†Try an experiment for this week. ¬†If you are trying to welcome something into your life, think of how you are going to do it. ¬†Now, each day, choose to do something that will lead you closer to your dream. ¬†See how that series of choices affects your world. ¬†Be patient. ¬†Let me know how it goes…

Building a life based on choice is so empowering! ¬†Experience it for yourself…‚ô•

Timing is such an important part of life.  I think about this every time I miss a train by seconds.  You dash down the subway stairs only to find those doors slammed shut in your face!  There is always another train, but what might have been different in your day had you just made that connection?

I have had many examples of great timing in my life, both personally and professionally. ¬†I specifically remember taking my first apartment in NYC. ¬†I had just moved from Atlanta to New York. ¬†I was suffering some serious culture shock! ¬†I had been looking for apartments with no success. ¬†I was scheduled to see another apartment after work on a summer night. ¬†I remember standing at the top of the subway steps thinking that I did not want to go. ¬†It was hot and stinky in the subway and I had worked a long stressful day. ¬†For some reason, “divine timing”, I decided to get on the train. ¬†I ended up getting this beautiful apartment through a series of serendipitous events that evening. ¬†Living in that apartment would provide me with a great new circle of friends and a peaceful place to call home for many years. ¬†The timing was divine!

There is a certain magic about the timing of events. ¬†I like to think that timing is always right…

If you seem to be missing a lot of connections in life, whether personally or professionally, the universe might just be protecting you from the wrong connection.  It is your job to trust and keep moving forward without being discouraged.  The right connection is just around the corner and all you have to do is ENTER!  ♥

I read something yesterday that made me stop and think about how life can hand you some tough decisions. ¬†They are gut wrenching. ¬†You know, you’re going down the road and everything is fine, then… appearing on the horizon is this thing. ¬†It’s way in front of you. ¬†You can’t really even see it, but it causes you some discomfort. ¬†It’s the decision that you know you need to make. ¬† You may be reminded daily by your eye twitching, stomach pains, restless sleep, etc. ¬†You think these will just pass and you will be on down the road. ¬†In reality, these physical signs are the road markers of a tough decision on the horizon.

Tough decisions are not for the faint of heart, they require courage.  They ask us to be true to our most authentic selves.   What happens when you really listen to your own heart and act on it?  People in our lives might be hurt or disappointed.  We, ourselves might be hurt or disappointed.  There is no guarantee for a better road after making a tough decision.

I believe that every time we flex our tough decision muscle, it becomes stronger.  The ability to risk and the courage required to act are strengthened.  The next time a tough decision comes along, less time is spent agonizing about the outcome and more time is spent producing the outcome.

Making the tough decision also reminds us that we are always in the driver’s seat of our lives. Living an active life created by our own decisions is the best gift we can give ourselves and the world. ¬†So, the next time your are reminded of a tough decision, why not shift into 4WD and accelerate? ¬†It might be the best road yet! ‚ô•

Ok, I’m referring to the Superman series here… ¬†You know, Superman had one weakness that made his SUPER powers disappear, it was Kryptonite. ¬†Presented with this dreaded substance, he became weak and vulnerable, just like the rest of us humans.

Falling in love is a bit like meeting a personal form of Kryptonite. ¬† I know you are laughing right now. ¬†Kryptonite is the enemy, right? ¬†Think about it, ¬†when you fall in love, you come up against something that makes you weak, you allow yourself to become vulnerable. ¬†You do things that you normally wouldn’t. ¬† You find yourself in all kinds of new and sometimes strange situations. ¬†Vulnerability is a key ingredient in the game of love, without it you stay in your SUPER human and protected form. ¬†When you are willing to be vulnerable, you begin to share your world with someone, and that’s how love grows.

What if the “dreaded” kryptonite is exactly what is required to fall in love? ¬†It seems impossible to think that something so feared might actually bring you love. ¬†Take some time to process this. ¬†What does your personal kryptonite look like? ¬†Is it a feeling, a physical attribute, a personality trait? ¬†How does it render you weak?

Next time you are faced with kryptonite, reach for it…‚ô•

In today’s society we have a lot of distractions. ¬†We are bombarded with sounds, images, people, traffic, media, you name it! ¬†Sometimes all this stimulation is invigorating. ¬†It both inspires and entertains us with its variety. ¬†Other times all these distractions can be destructive, because it keeps you from hearing your own voice. ¬†We need some time to sit in the quiet in order to reconnect with ourselves.

Being in the quiet is not as easy as it sounds. ¬†Try an experiment. ¬†Turn off all phones, televisions, computers, lights, etc. ¬†Whatever you would normally have going as you move through your day. ¬†Now try just spending a few moments with this quiet. ¬†At first, you might think you’re going to have a mini-breakdown. ¬†It’s like coming off of caffeine, ¬†you’ll be a little edgy. ¬†Once this initial withdrawal has subsided, something amazing happens. ¬†First, you start to feel more at peace. ¬†Second, you begin to hear your own thoughts and feelings. ¬†Third, you’ll begin to hear the sounds of nature, you might even hear birds chirping!

It’s a mystery to me, why we spend so much time not listening to our own inner wisdom, because it has so much value. ¬†Being in the quiet helps us to be grounded in a world that keeps us in the air most of the time. ¬†Listening to your own wisdom is essential to being present in your life and making sure you are moving in the right direction. ¬†Why don’t you schedule some quiet and see for yourself? ¬†Let me know how it goes. ¬†‚ô•¬†

Sometimes you are rolling along in life, thinking everything is status quo, moving through your days and nights, until IT happens.  The Red Flag is thrown.  This can be anything, an accident, a financial reversal, a health crisis, the end result is that you are forced to face something you have been ignoring for a very long time.  The universe is basically telling you that its time to snap out of it, and deal with whatever has been lurking on the back burner.

The size of the red flag is in direct relationship to your need to address the problem. ¬†Some red flags are little, in fact they are so little, that you can possibly ignore them. ¬†This, of course, is a bad idea, but we all do it. ¬†It works for ¬†a while until the next red flag is thrown. ¬†This time its a little larger and harder to sweep away. ¬†You see the point I’m making. ¬†Ignoring your red flags can only lead to setbacks and suffering. ¬†You have to face head on what you have been denying or hiding. ¬†It takes effort and courage to face a red flag, but it’s also a great time to make a 180 degree turn in your life. ¬†Think of it as coming to the fork in the road… now you will choose to go a different direction.

Can you think of any red flags that you have been ignoring?  Have you had any giant upsets in the past because you ignored too many of them?  Remember, the universe is always communicating with us, if we choose to be aware and accept the information.  Use these reminders to make changes for the better.  ♥

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