Archives for posts with tag: dating

The earth,  it sounds so scientific, doesn’t it?  It reminds me of science class in grade school where we studied the planets and solar systems.  All these concepts seemed so foreign to me, fascinating, but really foreign and far away.  As I evolve,  I see more and more clearly, the beauty and abundant gift that is mother earth.  She gives us life.  

I am from Iowa, and although I was not a farmer, my parents were farmers as youngsters.  They have what I call “nature language”.  I remember being on a walk with my Mom one afternoon as a girl.  We were walking by a field of some kind and she saw some mint growing next to the fence.  She walked right over and picked a leaf and we both smelled and tasted it.  I was a little scared, I mean she was trying to feed me grass!  After I tasted it, I was amazed.  I remember that day as if it was yesterday.  My father too has the most amazing connection with nature.  He is especially gifted with animals.  They seem to be drawn to him.  Again, it’s like a special language.

Our relationship with mother earth is so scared and life affirming.   I am always amazed and delighted when my planted seeds turn into tomatoes or roses.  We often don’t spend time in nature, we are so involved in our phones, computers and televisions, our connection is dimmed.  The connection may be dimmed, but you can renew it just by taking a few minutes to walk in the park.   I am making a point to physically connect with nature in the midst of my urban life.  Today, I’m taking a minute to give thanks for our mother earth and all her abundance. ♥

This is from the Bible of course, but I’m from Iowa and we have a lot of pig sayings!  PIG-isms…  My favorite is “you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear”.  For those of you not familiar with livestock, a sow is an adult female swine.  I’m not sure why pigs get a bad rap in the world.  I mean, they provide us with bacon, and for all you bacon lovers, I don’t need to say more.  Anyway, I’m going off topic.  Today I’m using swine to describe people who are unworthy of your attention, your charms, your knowledge, your beauty, etc.

I’m going to go right to it, this is my opinion and I welcome others… Why do women sleep with men they have just met?  I know the sexual revolution happened.  We all found out how great it was to love one another, literally.  I feel your body is your biggest pearl.  It’s probably a whole strand of pearls, maybe an entire ocean of pearls.  So, following this logic, are you going to share the most precious pearl you have with someone you don’t know much about?  I see you all as perfect pearls within yourselves, as women.  So, when you are trying to welcome love into your life, wouldn’t you want to make sure the man DESERVED this pearl?

Ok, I’m ready for criticism on this topic.  I know there are times when we all need some sexual healing, as Marvin Gaye says.  I just want to say, that if you are sincerely looking for someone special, and you want to build something with them, you need to make sure they deserve the pearl that is you.  Don’t throw that precious pearl before someone who might be swine!

Ok, people, I’m open for discussion on this one…Let me hear your thoughts

P.S. I just thought of another pig saying…”If you run with the hogs, you’re going to start to smell like them”.  We can discuss that at a later time. 

I have been watching the HBO special about George Harrison of the Beatles.  It is so fascinating to see all these little snippets of music and history throughout this film.  It’s in two parts and I have only seen the first part, but I am looking forward to the second.   I am not a child of the Beatles era, but we all are exposed to their legacy and music, no matter what your generation. One thing in the documentary specifically caught my attention.  He spoke of being wealthy at an early age, basically the material world was at his finger tips.  You would think, surely this would bring peace and contentment, I mean especially at his level!  He said no, this wasn’t  IT!  So he kept searching.  From my perspective, this is where his life really began to get interesting, because he went beyond all of that fame and wealth to seek something more.  I identified with many of the things that George had to say about his spiritual journey and following a path in life.  He was a seeker.  His story is a beautiful one.

You don’t have to be famous to be a seeker.  To me, a seeker is someone who is looking for meaning in life and is open to seeing the world and its intricacies without the blinders of society, culture and religion.   I didn’t have any idea what a seeker was in my earlier life, I just knew I had a lot of questions and ideas.  There aren’t really any concrete answers to these questions.  They are intended to provoke thought and push your mind beyond its limits.  I think this is why I left my home state and started traveling, looking for answers.  The more I expand and explore, the more I realize I don’t know about myself and about the world.  I just keep moving forward, guided by the next question.

We all spend so much time working and planning for wealth and material comfort, but is that what life is really about?  I’m starting to think NO.  A beautiful life is yours for the taking and it doesn’t come from a paycheck or a new car.  It comes from your journey and your questions.   Keep asking and keep looking…see what unfolds. ♥

I’m sure you’ve heard it before … “why don’t you just grow up”…  I’ve heard this in many different contexts throughout my life.  I been told to “grow up” and I’ve also told others to “grow up”. All of this talk about being a grown up got me thinking, what does it really mean to be a grown up?  

The first thing that comes to mind is being self-sufficient in the world.  You live on your own, away from your parents, have a job, pay your own rent and expenses.  This isn’t even a good indicator, as many adult children live at home to care for their extended family and parents.  We all know it takes a very grown up person to care for others at their own expense.  What about the emotional maturity that you need as a grown up?  How do you acquire and measure emotional maturity?

It’s possible that being a grown up changes throughout your life.  What it means to be grown up at age 5 is very different from at age 21, or 45.  The decisions you make at each stage are changing based on your current situation.

For me, being a grown up, means you’ve learned to be your own parent.  To explain it better, you’ve learned to make decisions and choices in life that are for the betterment of yourself, as if you were parenting a child.  It takes a long time to get to this place, and still there are days when the 5, 12, or 18-year-old inside me is dying to run the show.  I know when I place the same level of care and concern on a decision that I would use for my child, I’m acting as a GROWN WOMAN.   I feel healthy and empowered.

When was the last time someone told you to “grow up”?  How did you react?  Did you alter your actions in life?

Yesterday, Steve Jobs of Apple computer fame, passed away from pancreatic cancer.  It was such a sad day for the world, as he was an innovator, American style.  His passion for his work was contagious and he left the world forever changed.  I remember the first time I saw his presentation about the iPhone.  He was on fire with enthusiasm for his new product and so proud to show the world.

He gave a speech in 2005 to the students at Stanford University on their graduation.  It was such a wonderful speech because he spoke of what it meant for him to live his life authentically, from a place of instinct.  He spoke of connecting the dots in your life, backward, not forward.  By trusting your instinct or intuition, you are following your own true path in life.  Things you do today may not make sense, but if you are drawn to them, keep going.  Later, as you look back, you will be able to see that you have been guided to a place that you might not have dreamed of, but is exactly where you are supposed to be!  I know this is true for my own life.  Experiences I had early on have prepared me for what I am doing today.  I call it taking steps in the dark.

I am challenging you to get in touch with your instinct or inner voice.  It’s different for everyone, but you can start by just being quiet and taking some deep breaths.  Let go of the chatter in your head and see what appears.  You might be surprised. 🙂  When that voice appears, are you going to listen?  It might not say what you want to hear.  If you trust it and act, great things can happen!  Live your own life and make it beautiful.♥

P.S.Here is the link for the speech…

http://tech.fortune.cnn.com/2011/10/05/the-speech-of-steve-jobs-life/

Today was a beautiful fall day in New York City.  The sky was a light blue, with little wisps of clouds, and the air was very crisp and dry. When I left the house this morning, I hadn’t noticed any of that.  All I could think about was the fact that I didn’t have time to get coffee before I saw my first client.  How was I going to make it through that first hour without my caffeine fix?  I was anxiously working this out in my mind as I was driving.  More anxiety, so many cars and people, bicycles, horns honking.  You get the picture, right?  All of this without caffeine.

In the middle of all of this chaos, traffic, and anxiety, something amazing happened.  As I was sitting at a traffic light, a monarch butterfly appeared by my window and floated around in front of me.  She gracefully said hello and then drifted off through the air, looking gorgeous.  Do you know what happened?  Right there in that moment, I smiled, took a breath and felt her grace.  Suddenly, I noticed the sky and the crisp air.  I also took a moment to say “thanks” for my life and blessings.  She was a beautiful little messenger of gratitude and grace.  Thank God for her and her message to me to be aware of all of life’s details.  ♥

Are you noticing the details in your life?

Working in the fashion industry, I am a serious people watcher.  I mostly watch what other women are wearing.  I then give my silent stamp of approval or rejection.  I see a lot of variety in apparel, especially on 7th Avenue in Manhattan.  There have been days where I was astonished by what some women (and men) are wearing.  It wasn’t their interpretation of fashion that stopped me cold, it was the directness of their nonverbal communication through dress.

Let me say it again, these women were directly communicating with the world by way of clothing and it was powerful!  Am I just late to the party?   This communication can be an aside or an exclamation point!  It can be calculated or subconscious.  If I’m being honest, I dress to please myself and to acquire the respect of my fellow fashionistas.  It rarely occurs to me that I might choose to dress in a way that attracts the opposite sex.  I’m actually embarrassed to admit that, since I’m a woman in my 40’s and all.

Since my eureka moment, I have noticed what men find attractive, in terms of clothing, is surprisingly different from what one would expect.  Next time you are getting ready for a night out, ask your husband or boyfriend to select your outfit.  Let’s call this the “boyfriend experiment”… Once you are wearing this outfit, how do you feel in it?  Ask him what he likes about you in this outfit.  Of course you are going to have to actually wear the outfit!  After the night is over, take a moment to reflect on your experiment.  What did you learn?  Try to see yourself through a different lens.

Do you dress differently if you are trying to impress, seduce, or attract a man?  How so?  I’m dying for your input…

Inspiration is really a powerful and magical thing, it creates action.  People who are inspired by someone or something move forward along their path.  Inspired people take risks and make decisions that most people would not.  So today, I want to talk about what inspires you?

I am inspired by many things, but mostly nature.  I see the beauty of the earth all around me.  The sky is a great example of inspiration in nature, because its always changing.  The sky can be sunny and blue one minute and cloudy and dark the next.  This reminds me that life too is constantly changing and that we are adapting all the time.  Something I’ve become more aware of lately is that beauty exists in the dark and gloomy, as well as, the bright and sunny.  Next time a big storm approaches, take a look at the sky.  Notice the clouds and colors just before the storm, you might just find it beautiful!

People are also a great source of inspiration.  I am a lover of the underdog, someone who overcomes obstacles to succeed where others have failed.  What I like most about overcoming obstacle stories, is the power of the human spirit.  People who come through difficult times are tapping in to an inner reserve.  Its something we all have, but it ignites when challenges appear.  I’ve seen some pretty amazing come back stories in many of the people I love.  I know how strong these spirits have grown.  Take a moment to think about people around you who have overcome an obstacle, how have they changed?  How has their presence in your life changed you?

Finally, a last word, how do you inspire others?

Have you ever had a dream of something, say a change you want to make in your life, yet you are unable to take the steps to make it happen?  This is probably a silly question, as I think most of us would admit to having a dream of something that is just not happening.

Today, I sat down at my table in my office to start something new.  I am prepared for my dream.  I have the knowledge, the tools, the ideas, and all I can do is type into this blog.  This is beyond frustrating for me.  My dream has been with me for many years.  I have envisioned a pretty office and table, just like the one in front of me.  I know my path in life has led me to this very situation.  Still, I am STUCK in this inactive state.

What keeps people stuck?  If I’m being completely honest, I have no idea.  If I was thinking of helping someone else who is stuck, I would ask some questions.

Are you sure this is your dream?  Is it possible that the dream you fantasize about is not actually what you want, but what keeps you from forging ahead in the life you’ve got.  This question is particularly sobering.  I mean, what if you’ve spent all these years fantasizing about something that not only is NOT going to happen, but probably wouldn’t make you happy anyway….  You see the point I’m making.

What are you afraid of?  Fear is usually a big factor in the dream squashing game.  Are you afraid of failure or success?  Perfectionism also plays a role here.  It might not be perfect, but start something and work from there.

Do you have a plan? Have you written down the actual steps and time line required to materialize your dream?  Does it require education or money?  Will you have to move or change your lifestyle?  Get into the details and really put it down on paper.  Is there a particular section of your plan that makes you anxious?  Break that part up into smaller detail and ask for help if you need it.

Are you asking for support?  When you begin something new, suddenly you are thrust into the unknown.  I think the older we get, the less likely we are to ask for guidance or support.  You feel you’ve already established yourself and you are confident in your knowledge and skill.  Ask for help.  Find a mentor, coach, or even a friend who would be willing to sit with you and your dream.  You might be surprised at what happens.

Let me know what keeps you stuck in your life.  I would love some personal stories and theories about how you move forward.  I’ll keep you posted on my dream.  I already see that I have not completed a lot of the above steps!  🙂

P.S.  (I am available to all of you for support of your dream!)

I encountered a woman on the subway this afternoon who was begging for food.  She was very pregnant and carrying a small backpack.  She started her speech in a very small voice, apologizing for intruding on our subway ride, and then asked very quietly for any food or money that could be spared.  Almost every woman on this train car handed her money.  I offered her my metrocard.  When I handed her my card, she was dumbfounded.  She said she couldn’t accept it, as if it was too much.  As if I handed her a large sum of money.

She thanked me profusely and left the train.  I saw on her face the fatigue from fighting her battles with life.  It seriously brought me to tears, as I was reminded of how brutal life can be.  In the midst of the fight you can feel pretty diminished as a person, and that you don’t have value or deserve good things, but you do…and they will return to you, if you just persist.  

This woman was persisting.  I wished that I had just opened myself a little more to talk to her about her baby and to look her in the eye and tell her that she was going to be ok, that there was no shame in asking for help.  She needed to hear that.  We all need to hear that from each other.  Encouraging each other and reaching out to support each other, no matter what the circumstances can be so healing.

How are you going to support someone who has been knocked down?  How do you reach out for support when its your own battle?

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