Archives for posts with tag: change

I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, and I touched on some of it in my post yesterday about commodities in the game of worthiness.  I have a theory about how society uses certain sets of physical, mental, and social commodities as a kind of currency, when it comes to dating. 

Let’s explore an example.  Take Jane, who is 5’11”, 120 lbs., has long dark hair, olive skin, is college educated, owns her own business, and comes from a wealthy family.  She would have a high commodity value.  In the financial market, she would be an in demand stock, in the dating world, we would call her a “catch”.

Now, let’s look at Joan, she is 5’6″, 175 lbs., has curly hair, freckles, did not go to college, works for the local supermarket, and has no parents.  Is her commodity value lower, than Jane? By all societal standards, the answer is yes, but is she really?  How does she know where she fits in the commodities structure?

I can even go a step further, let’s look at Diana.  She is 5’7″, 110 lbs., has shoulder length brown hair, lives at home with her parents, and is not college educated.  Is her commodity value higher than Joan because she is smaller and has longer hair?  Will she get more dates because of these qualities, even though she is living at home?  I mean this is all just theory talking.  I want your opinion on this.  Let’s get the discussion going.

How have you experienced the commodities market?  How do you compare yourself to others when entering the dating pool?  Do you let this assigned value determine your worthiness?  I am here to tell you again, you in your most authentic form are the highest commodity value.  Don’t let society determine where you fall in the market.  Rate yourself A+.♥


Worth is such a powerful word.  It applies to almost everything tangible and intangible that exists in our society today.  For example, what is your time worth, or your home, car, education, and the list continues…

What I want to examine today is our self-worth.  I know, its huge.  Self worth is tricky.   Many of us think self-worth is dependent on these layers of characteristics or assets.  I’m thinking of gorgeous hair, a PhD in biochemistry, a high salary, expensive clothes, etc.  These are like commodities in the game of worthiness.  The more you have, the higher your value in society.  Is this really what self-worth is about?  

I think of self-worth as a value you place on just being your authentic self, with no parameters.  You, in your original packaging, are all that is required to have self-worth, but do you see this?  I know some pretty amazing people who diminish themselves because they don’t think their “commodities” are up to the level.  Today I’m challenging you to see yourself as a valuable commodity.  You are WORTHY of all the beauty, love, and abundance that the universe has to offer. No ifs, ands or buts! ♥

Today is 11, 11,11!  Wow, such a great set of numbers.  I’ve been surfing the net all day reading about the significance of this group of numbers and I’m kind of sorry that I didn’t play the lotto today…

Anyway, let’s just compare this to hitting the reset button on your computer.  Let go of all the negative baggage you have been carrying around for the last however many years and START OVER.  I mean, let’s just get right to it, we have a chance each day to begin again.  We can look at our lives, our selves, our loved ones and the world with fresh eyes.  We can savour and delight in the day and the wonders of our lives on the planet at this time.  We can feel the fresh energy and love flowing through our bodies creating light and space in every cell.  We can share this new-found life force with our loved ones and the world.  ♥

Happy 11.11.11!  Make this your best restart ever!

I was sitting at the nail salon the other day. (I am serious about manicures!)  I have a routine that puts me in the chair at least once every couple of weeks.  While I was there, I overheard another woman speaking about her mother coming to visit.  She was there to get a manicure before her mom arrived.  She went on to say that her mom was always perfect, in every way.  She was perfectly dressed, pressed, manicured, made up, you know how it goes.  After she listed her mother’s many attributes, she began to list her own FLAWS!  She started with her ears, then her hair, and the list kept growing.  As she was listing all these flaws and how she was working around them, I thought to myself, what if all these flaws are really what makes her beautiful?  What if the worst parts of us are really the best in us?

I know what you are thinking, now she’s really lost her mind!  How can our flaws possibly be our assets?  We all have these parts of us that we diligently try to disguise and eliminate.  We spend a lot of time and energy working through these flaws.  We judge ourselves because of these flaws.  We decide that these flaws makes us not good enough.

As sure as I am sitting here typing these words, I want you to know that these flaws are what makes us beautiful and human. Embracing these unique qualities makes you a whole person.  Who are you to let others tell you what is beautiful or perfect?  Start embracing what is your worst and seeing it as your most beautiful.  It will change you, I promise.♥

I’m sure you’ve all heard the notion,“don’t make waves”.  You know, things are going along, okay, not great, but you are surviving.  You think, if I make this change or that change, what will happen?  Fear steps in, the unknown takes over and paralyzes you from making a diversion from the same old thing.  This idea ,”don’t make waves”, applies to all areas of your life.  It could be in your personal relationship with your partner or child, your work relationships, or your relationship with yourself.  You know which scenario best applies to  your situation.

Ladies,  sometimes, we have to make waves.  This is what moves us forward in life.  We can only begin to be our best selves through evolution, that requires change.  It is SCARY!  You will be full of fear when making a wave.  Fear is paralyzing.  Facing a fear and moving through it with courage is truly transformational.  The outcome is secondary.  The lesson you learn about yourself is primary.  You are a strong, courageous woman, who faces challenges head on without fear.  It might be painful and there will be setbacks, but the impact that it has on your spirit is profound.

Today is a day to make waves…

Today I had the privilege  of attending a dance recital for young ballerinas.  Wow, it was such a treat!  All those shining faces and beautiful smiles, not to mention the costumes.  They were all glowing from wearing those fluffy tutus!  I remember what that felt like.  I remember the pink leotard and the tutu made of layers and layers of pink tulle.  I felt like a princess.  I imagined all these wonderful things that are associated with princesses.  You know the castle, the pearls, the diamonds, the prince…all of it.  It was just the best feeling, all that fantasy.  The world was alive with possibility and abundance.  The other great thing about that costume and the dance recital was the praise for my participation.  Everyone told me how gorgeous I was and what a great job I did.  I’m sure I forgot my steps and forgot to smile, but this didn’t matter, I was all that mattered.  Blissful.

Honestly, I was thinking while they were performing, how could I make a skirt that some how involved pink tulle that wouldn’t make me look like a kindergartener.  I was actually working this through in my mind.  So funny, what I was really reaching for was that feeling I got from wearing the tutu as a young girl.

What I’m saying to you today is don’t forget this little girl who lives in us all.  Even if your life is not exactly the way you planned and all those “princessy” things seem to have alluded you.   You are all that matters.  You are the princess of your own life, so celebrate it!

Next time you see a little girl in a ballerina costume, remember that great women begin in little packages.

Let’s face it, our lives today are extremely busy.  We have personal and professional commitments that keep us running from morning to night and sometimes well beyond.  Managing the calendar for most people is a  full-time job.  The lists of things to do grows daily.

Do you put yourself on the list?  Women are givers and doers by nature.  It seems that everyone else’s needs come before our own.  Especially if you are a mother, you may feel that you can’t even think about putting yourself on the list.  The thing is, you are not unlimited.  Running yourself ragged with no time to recharge or attend to your own needs is detrimental in the long run.  I find that when I do something for myself, my capacity to do for others actually expands.  When I’m not taking care of myself, I am resentful and often cranky about what I must do for others.

Put yourself on the list when it comes to clothing, as well.  You don’t have to buy a bunch of new clothes, but having a few key items that make you feel great, goes a long way to enhancing your mood.  I call these “go to” outfits.   My favorite is a faded pair of blue jeans and a simple blue oxford shirt.  When I put this on, I feel immediately like myself.  Another favorite is a black knit maxi dress.  I am instantly comfortable and chic at the same time!

Spend some time in your closet, you may even want to invite a friend.  Go through and eliminate things that you don’t wear, or don’t fit.  When you are done,  organize your closet and make a section for  a few “go to” outfits.  The next time you are feeling low on the list, you’ll be able to grab one of those outfits for a pick me up.

What ways can you put yourself on the list?  How can you remember to keep yourself there?

I looked up Authentic in the dictionary today.  It has many different meanings, but the one I’m speaking of is  “true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character”.  This is such a big word and topic, I’m not sure I’ll be able to do it justice in a small blog paragraph.  Let’s just start the dialogue and let it keep growing!

Authentically living your life takes courage and awareness.  The awareness comes from being willing to recognize who you are in the midst of all the roles you play in your daily life.  You know, you are a daughter, a sister, a friend, a co-worker, a mother, and the list goes on and on.  With so many roles to play, it can be easy to lose yourself.  Also, by playing these roles, you can end up trying to meet other’s expectations, rather than listening to your own voice.  Now comes the courage part.  It takes courage to listen and hear your own voice, in the midst of all these roles, and act on it.  You may hear your voice, but not like the information, so you turn down the volume.  If you really don’t like what your voice is saying, you can completely shut it off.  Now you are no longer living authentically.  Boy, is that tiring and it keeps you from experiencing the joy of being you.

Clothing is such an expression of self.  Think of the power that clothing has in the world.  Especially all the designer labels that are used as status symbols.  Companies spend millions of dollars hoping you will buy in to their look.  Fashion magazines are full of ideas about how you should look for every occasion.   The funny thing is, you always know when you are wearing something that is really suits you, your whole face lights up.  What I’m getting at here is to use clothing as expression of  your authentic self, not what some celebrity or magazine suggests is “you”.  Be aware of what you like and what suits you and then courageous enough to wear it, even if it’s not what the fashion magazines are promoting.

Being authentic is the best gift you could ever give yourself and give the world.

What kinds of clothing make you feel most authentic?

A large part of my day as a fit model is spent walking the streets of NYC to meet with clients.  Especially on 7th Avenue, I see every imaginable kind of style and body type.  All that variety, all those combinations of humanity and fashion are sometimes dizzying.  I know that we all want to look our best each day as we leave the house.  I find that women with great style know just what to wear and what to leave at home.  Someone once told me that before you leave in the morning, take one thing off, because Less is More.

I am completely guilty of the More mentality.  I am in constant search for the next great accessory or item of clothing that is going to make me fabulous.  My closets are full of great bags, shoes, dresses, jewelry, and earrings all to meet some standard of more.  Practicing less is new for me.  Being beautiful in your body and your life doesn’t require more, it requires less!  You are enough to make anything look fabulous.  Imagine all the money I could have saved if I had figured this out earlier. ♥

Tomorrow morning when you get dressed, experiment with less.  Let me know how it goes!

Today I’ve been thinking about acceptance.  Acceptance is so simple, notice their are no adjectives around the word…it just IS!  Part of being whole in your body and your life is living in acceptance.  When you accept who you are, where you are, what you are doing, something amazing happens, you are free.  Wow, I said it!  I mean FREE.   There is no more waiting for this or that to happen, you are just right in the middle of your life and your body and your world.  Its almost humbling.  When I think of all the years of my life that I have skirted acceptance, it makes me a little sad, for all the lost time.

I’m experimenting these days with being present and accepting who and where I am right now.  I like how peaceful I feel.  It’s like being in a yoga class in pidgeon pose.  You can’t escape that, you are just there.  While you are in that pose, really saturated in it, there are no noises in your head.  When you come out of pidgeon pose, fresh blood rushes to all those joints in the body and energy pulses through your veins.  So, when I’m not always in my head, playing out another fantasy of what my life would be like if I were different, I get to feel that energy and really live my life.  Fantastic!

I’m going to tell you something that its taken me years to learn.  The well dressed woman isn’t wearing Prada, she’s wearing Acceptance and self love.♥

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