Archives for posts with tag: change

Lately, I’ve been dropped into the world of architecture. Architects design the plans that are the blueprint for homes and buildings. They assemble all the elements… your chosen location, your local laws regarding construction, and your needs and dreams for the plan of your home.

There is something interesting about this process… Every project has multiple solutions for creating the desired outcome. Architects are experts at surveying the big picture, visualizing solutions and identifying the one that BEST suits the situation. Architects are not only creative, but practical… they have to produce results. Choosing the best solution is what makes them effective.

I was wondering the other day if we could apply the same logic to designing our lives. We have all been in a place where we need to create change, but are unable to start. It seems daunting…

Lets apply their process to our own journey… Starting with your dreams and desires, work backwards and identify behaviors and activities that could help move you toward your goal. Get into the details of it… What are the long-term and short-term activities that will lead you in the right direction? Write them down, even better make a technical diagram of what they look like physically. Add pictures and drawings to illustrate your path. What comes 1st, 2nd, etc. See them on paper in a format like a blueprint or flow chart, use big arrows and be specific. Look for multiple solutions on your chart. Meditate on the possibilities. You will eventually see the best choice. It will be clear on paper and in your mind. Choosing this solution will EMPOWER your journey, and it will feel PEACEFUL.

Becoming an architect in life is brilliant! It’s like your blueprint for navigating change. You know where you are going and how to get there.

What are you waiting for? Your new life is waiting…ūüĎ£

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Soooooo… today, I’m laying face down on a massage table, in the middle of what was a very unremarkable massage, when I heard the following two words in my mind, “limiting beliefs”. I had the most powerful urge to ask the therapist to write the words down. I quickly realized she would not have a pen, so, I lay there repeating them over in my mind, as not to forget.

Beliefs are very powerful tools of the mind. Beliefs about ourselves, our society, our planet, all play a huge role in how we live our daily lives. Our reality is shaped by these beliefs. One of my personal favorite beliefs is that hard work is rewarded with results, in any situation. I believe that if I work very hard and apply myself to a situation, the results will be positive. This is a belief that I was taught by my parents. It’s been so useful in my life and I pass it on to others with enthusiasm.

But what about beliefs that are limiting? First of all, just saying those words feels like letting the air out of a birthday balloon, it just deflates your spirit! There are so many of us walking through life carrying mental lists of limiting beliefs. We may be conscious of them or not, but they sabotage our efforts to live full happy lives. Notice how your body feels when you recognize a limiting belief. For me it feels like complete exhaustion and bewilderment. Not one part of that limiting belief feels peaceful or empowering.

Being able to recognize a belief that limits you is the first step towards releasing it. Awareness creates an environment that encourages us to challenge and change these beliefs. Spend some time writing down your own limiting beliefs. Or, work backwards, what in your life is causing you pain and disappointment? Look around the situation, do you see a limiting belief that is the culprit?

Limitlessly believing in ourselves is the only way to go in this life! ¬†Try it for yourself…¬†‚ô•

How many times in life do you find yourself praying and hoping for a dream to be fulfilled?¬†¬†You find yourself lost in the thought of how you are going to achieve this dream. ¬†You know,¬†the strategy… you try to work it!

“If I did this or I acted this way, if I was available or not available, if I followed up or didn’t follow up…” ¬†the list goes on and on depending on the outcome your are trying to achieve. What I notice about all this strategy is an element of control. ¬†We try to control the situation and affect it to achieve the outcome that is the most desirable for us. ¬†There it is, the problem…¬†control.

Notice how you feel in your body when you are trying to control a situation. ¬†For me, my neck and jaw are the truth. ¬†If my neck is killing me and my jaw hurts, you better believe that I’m trying to control a situation. ¬†I’m laughing just thinking about this! ¬†It’s so obvious…

Believing in a power greater than yourself requires a willingness to release control and have faith that the events in your life are unfolding for your greater good…

Practice adding those three words to your daily meditations. ¬†Notice how you feel when you hope for something that is for your greater good. ¬†For me, it’s ¬†a well of peace. ¬†Experience it for yourself.¬†‚ô•

Have you ever thought of how choice affects your life? ¬†Think of all the decisions you make consciously or unconsciously on a daily basis. ¬†Imagine them all creating a bigger picture… ¬†This becomes your reality. ¬†We are all constantly choosing our lives… ¬†

That is a little hard to hear, right? ¬†I mean, so many times I’ve heard people describing events that supposedly just “happened”. ¬†I always wonder what choices were made prior to that moment. ¬†I especially think of this when I encounter someone who has extraordinarily bad luck. ¬†I mean, seriously, they get the whammy! ¬†Mostly, I’m seeing the end result of a series of choices, some conscious, some unconscious.

Ok, but why am I writing about choice today? ¬†Because, it’s possible to manifest all kinds of happiness, joy, and beauty in our lives by being conscious of our choices. ¬†Not just the big choices, but the little ones too. ¬†Try an experiment for this week. ¬†If you are trying to welcome something into your life, think of how you are going to do it. ¬†Now, each day, choose to do something that will lead you closer to your dream. ¬†See how that series of choices affects your world. ¬†Be patient. ¬†Let me know how it goes…

Building a life based on choice is so empowering! ¬†Experience it for yourself…‚ô•

I read something yesterday that made me stop and think about how life can hand you some tough decisions. ¬†They are gut wrenching. ¬†You know, you’re going down the road and everything is fine, then… appearing on the horizon is this thing. ¬†It’s way in front of you. ¬†You can’t really even see it, but it causes you some discomfort. ¬†It’s the decision that you know you need to make. ¬† You may be reminded daily by your eye twitching, stomach pains, restless sleep, etc. ¬†You think these will just pass and you will be on down the road. ¬†In reality, these physical signs are the road markers of a tough decision on the horizon.

Tough decisions are not for the faint of heart, they require courage.  They ask us to be true to our most authentic selves.   What happens when you really listen to your own heart and act on it?  People in our lives might be hurt or disappointed.  We, ourselves might be hurt or disappointed.  There is no guarantee for a better road after making a tough decision.

I believe that every time we flex our tough decision muscle, it becomes stronger.  The ability to risk and the courage required to act are strengthened.  The next time a tough decision comes along, less time is spent agonizing about the outcome and more time is spent producing the outcome.

Making the tough decision also reminds us that we are always in the driver’s seat of our lives. Living an active life created by our own decisions is the best gift we can give ourselves and the world. ¬†So, the next time your are reminded of a tough decision, why not shift into 4WD and accelerate? ¬†It might be the best road yet! ‚ô•

This is a difficult one to write, so it must mean I should keep going. ¬†They always say, if you are afraid to do something, that means you MUST do it. ¬†Here goes… ¬† ¬†Can anyone really be OK with alone? ¬†

There are times in life when you are just alone in it. ¬†It’s quiet, not the quiet I wrote about yesterday, but seriously quiet. ¬†It can be when you first move away from home, when your kids move out of the house, when you divorce, when your spouse or pet dies. ¬†There are any number of reasons for this to occur, but you feel it. ¬†There is no one at the door or in the kitchen when you arrive at the end of the day. ¬†You see it, right?

Alone usually comes with a big transition in life, as the examples I mentioned above. ¬†When you find yourself in the middle of this alone, how do you fill up your time? ¬†The obvious things come to mind, like friends, neighbors, classes, projects, travel, etc. ¬†The more you schedule, the less time you have to realize that you are alone! ¬†Mostly, I think it’s about reaching out so that people know you are alone. ¬†You may need additional phone time or drop by visits from your friends until you are through the transition. ¬†What keeps you from feeling alone when you are not engaged in your schedule? ¬†I started to write for this very reason and I have been both surprised and delighted by the community of bloggers who are there to share the journey with me.

Even more than that, I’ve had to learn that alone is OK. ¬†This is a huge statement. ¬†We spend so much of our lives trying to find that perfect partner or situation, so we will be guaranteed there is no alone. ¬†One way or another, life will hand you alone time. ¬†The relationship you have with yourself is what’s most important. ¬†Learning to be your own friend and feeling loved and cared for by YOU, is one of the best skills you can have in life. ¬†What does alone feel like for you? ¬†How can you develop that relationship with yourself? ¬†‚ô•

You know sometimes in your life everything seems to fall into place? ¬†You are just witnessing the events and following the chain. It seems as though all is right in the world. ¬†This is called Flow. ¬†Flow is like being in a river, moving with the water, it feels effortless. ¬†I love going with the flow…

What about the times in life when ITS NOT FLOWING? ¬†You know, you’re stuck. ¬†You are in a rut and every best effort you put forward leads to a brick wall. ¬†I have had my share of “no flow”. ¬†It’s frustrating! ¬†How do you rediscover your flow? ¬†Honestly, it’s a mystery to me.

The most important thing to remember when you are out of flow, is to keep trying… try EVERYTHING. ¬†Say yes, to all kinds of invitations, opportunities, people, jobs, and events that you would otherwise decline. ¬†It’s possible that the flow you are looking for is with you already, but you are looking in the opposite direction. ¬†Look around, change the glasses you’ve been wearing to examine your situation and your ¬†world. ¬†Be aware of what’s new in your old situation. ¬†You’ve got to have faith that flow will return to you.

Wait and see… being open to the new, might just drop you right back into that flowing river!¬†‚ô•

I love the word catalyst… ¬†It sounds so promising doesn’t it? ¬†The definition is, “a person or thing that precipitates a change“. ¬†It also has some scientific meanings, regarding chemical reactions, but I like the one that refers to change. ¬†I especially like catalysts that come in the form of a person. ¬†A good example of this is a consultant that is hired by a company to evaluate work flow, staffing, etc. ¬†These people come from the outside and see the situation with fresh eyes. ¬†They are able to pinpoint both problems and opportunities, that someone within the organization might miss.

Catalysts can affect you in your personal life as well. ¬†They are the special people who come in to your life and see something in you that you don’t see in yourself. ¬†They can motivate you to be different in your world. ¬†People who are catalysts effect change by sharing their energy. ¬†We all know that shared energy is so powerful and can be transformational. ¬†We have to be open to the change they are inspiring. ¬†It’s sometimes threatening and uncomfortable. ¬†Those are good indications that you are growing as a person. ¬†Don’t shy away from these feelings, they make you better.

I have been privileged to meet some pretty amazing catalysts in my life. ¬†Each one of them has pushed me out of a rut or in a more positive direction. ¬†I see my duty is to be a catalyst for others, as a sort of karmic repayment. ¬†It’s a beautiful gift of energy for your fellow-man. ¬†‚ô•

How can you accept the energy from catalysts in your life?  How can you share that energy with someone who needs to change?

Many years ago, while I was working for a large software company, I read this terrific book called “Who Moved My Cheese?” by Spencer Johnson.¬† ¬†Basically, it’s a story about these characters, living in a maze, discovering they have lost sight of their “cheese“.¬†¬†On a higher level, it talks about embracing changes that are inevitable not only in your world, but the world in general.

So many people today are facing a new life with absent or relocated cheese…¬†Unemployment seems to be lurking everywhere. ¬†It’s almost impossible to go through your entire professional life without being downsized or eliminated in some capacity. ¬†In our personal lives, divorce and family disconnect are high on the list of common stressors. ¬† This is what we know for sure, that change will come, it’s just a matter of when…and it happens again and again over time.

How you react to this cheese dilemma is another subject.  Change is not always bad, painful, and stressful.  Some change can make you better.  It can recharge your batteries by forcing you to explore new opportunities.  It can make you really examine what is important to you in life.  You might discover the cheese you were working so hard for is no longer appealing or that it depletes your joy.  Change can evolve you into the next, new and improved version of yourself.  Think of change as a software upgrade.  You are still the same you, just with a fancier operating system!

When you embrace the changes you face in life, have faith that they will help you to be your best self.  The most updated version of you is the best thing you can offer the world.  ♥

How do you deal with anger?  It is a real emotion.  Angry babies cry.  Angry children hit each other.  What do angry adults do?

I mean, I can think of some examples.  Some angry adults are alcoholics.  They drink to subdue the anger inside them.  Instead of killing the anger, they kill slowly kill themselves.  Some angry adults drive angry.  They rage against the road and the other drivers. Their anger is then transferred to the road.  Some angry adults eat.  They chew and swallow their rage.  Conversely, some angry adults deny themselves food. They punish themselves instead of releasing that anger.  I could go on and on with this list.  There are so many ways to deny anger and none of them are healthy.

Anger is a part of the human condition, just like sadness, loneliness, joy, anxiety, happiness and a whole list of other emotions.  The problem with anger begins when you deny it.  Anger denied becomes depression and disease.  So, how do we engage anger in a healthy way?

I immediately  think of exercise.  Sometimes, if you can get your heart rate at just the right level, you will release the anger.  I also think of meditation.  In meditation, we see that anger is an emotion that is happening to us.  We do not have to own the anger.  We can see it as a cloud circling our bodies.  By sitting with anger, and observing it, rather than acting it out, we can watch it dissolve.

This is where I need your input. ¬† We all need examples of ways to deal with anger. ¬†I’d like to know what has worked for you in your life. ¬†How do you resolve feelings of anger? ¬†The less angry we become, the more joy we have to offer the world. ¬†‚ô•

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