Archives for category: Encouragement

I read this great quote the other day about influence, “the key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority”, by Kenneth Blanchard.  It is a thought provoking quote.  I’m assuming the author is speaking of business relationships, but what about your personal circle of influence?

My wheels are turning at this thought…  Webster’s defines the verb form of influence as:  the power or capacity of causing an effect in indirect or intangible ways.  What I like about this definition is the use of the word intangible.  It’s not something we can touch, but it effects us just the same.  So many things influence us in our daily lives.  Imagine writing down every possible way we are influenced throughout our day.  I think you would need a lot of paper!

There are both good and bad influences.  Most importantly, people are influencers.  The people you surround yourself with can change you and it’s not always positive or apparent immediately.  It can be cumulatively destructive.

I like to surround myself with people who are better than me, not in the material sense, but the spiritual sense.  They carry good energy.  I can learn from them and they influence me, just by being themselves in the world.  I have grown so much in my life by having them around and I am grateful for their gift of friendship and love.

Think about your circle of influence.  How do you influence others?  How are you influenced?  Make your circle a beautiful ball of light that is both lifting and lifted in your world. ♥

Yesterday I came home from the beach with a moth in my bag!  I was pulling out the towels to be washed and she flew up over my head and landed directly above me on the ceiling.  She was gorgeous!  A lovely mix of taupe and grey.  She must have been ready for a change in scenery to travel all that way with me in my bag.  Or, maybe she was looking for a new light?

Moths are nocturnal, they follow the light of the moon.  When they lose sight of the moon, they use their inner knowledge and feeling to navigate the dark.  How amazing that is… to trust in your inner wisdom and intuition to guide you in darkness.

We spend a lot of time using our physical senses to navigate our lives.  For me, it’s mostly looking.  I’m always looking for something.  I want to be able to see it coming or recognize it on the horizon.  What would it be like to trust our intuition and let those internal feelings guide us?  It would be a lot like living in the wisdom of the beautiful little moth that followed me home to deliver a message about trusting and letting life come to you…♥

This a line from Lifetime, by the artist Maxwell.  He’s got the most soothing voice, honestly, he could sing the phone book and I would like it!  Every time I hear this song, that phrase catches my attention.  Love is not a fairy tale in a melody…

The words themselves are very beautiful, because they are so honest.  They speak directly to the concept a lot of us have that love is a fairy tale.  Most of us are raised reading fairy tales as bed time stories.  There is always a prince charming or princess of some kind.  There is usually a tragedy involved, and some how the prince comes to rescue the princess.  All the while, there are birds chirping and flowers blooming, amidst a sweet melody in the background.  It’s no wonder our concept of love is sorely tested when it actually appears in our real life.

Real life love is lot more rigorous and it requires an effort.  It comes in disguise and often times is discovered, rather than just apparent.  It has shadows and dark places that push boundaries.  It makes you weak and strong at the same time.  Living a life in love is probably the hardest job any of us will ever have, but it’s so worth it….  Love is the greatest gift we can give or receive,  just like the words of a beautiful melody. ♥

Ok, I’m referring to the Superman series here…  You know, Superman had one weakness that made his SUPER powers disappear, it was Kryptonite.  Presented with this dreaded substance, he became weak and vulnerable, just like the rest of us humans.

Falling in love is a bit like meeting a personal form of Kryptonite.   I know you are laughing right now.  Kryptonite is the enemy, right?  Think about it,  when you fall in love, you come up against something that makes you weak, you allow yourself to become vulnerable.  You do things that you normally wouldn’t.   You find yourself in all kinds of new and sometimes strange situations.  Vulnerability is a key ingredient in the game of love, without it you stay in your SUPER human and protected form.  When you are willing to be vulnerable, you begin to share your world with someone, and that’s how love grows.

What if the “dreaded” kryptonite is exactly what is required to fall in love?  It seems impossible to think that something so feared might actually bring you love.  Take some time to process this.  What does your personal kryptonite look like?  Is it a feeling, a physical attribute, a personality trait?  How does it render you weak?

Next time you are faced with kryptonite, reach for it…♥

I had an early morning conversation with one of my clients the other day.  I asked her at what age it was going to be ok to stop trying to be beautiful before you leave the house in the morning.  We both had a good laugh and exchanged stories of last minute hair and shoe changes, etc.  Then she said the most wonderful thing…

She said at a certain point you become wise, and you realize all the external stuff relating to beauty is just fluff and in this wise moment you become truly beautiful.  She went on to share with me a tragedy that affected her very early in her life.  It filled her with shame and kept her from really living in her own beauty. Her own wise moment followed a very challenging life circumstance.

I was completely surprised that she shared such a personal story with me.  I also knew right away what a wonderful message she was passing on to me.  Now I’m passing it on to you all, there is nothing more beautiful than a wise woman!  ♥

This is a difficult one to write, so it must mean I should keep going.  They always say, if you are afraid to do something, that means you MUST do it.  Here goes…    Can anyone really be OK with alone?  

There are times in life when you are just alone in it.  It’s quiet, not the quiet I wrote about yesterday, but seriously quiet.  It can be when you first move away from home, when your kids move out of the house, when you divorce, when your spouse or pet dies.  There are any number of reasons for this to occur, but you feel it.  There is no one at the door or in the kitchen when you arrive at the end of the day.  You see it, right?

Alone usually comes with a big transition in life, as the examples I mentioned above.  When you find yourself in the middle of this alone, how do you fill up your time?  The obvious things come to mind, like friends, neighbors, classes, projects, travel, etc.  The more you schedule, the less time you have to realize that you are alone!  Mostly, I think it’s about reaching out so that people know you are alone.  You may need additional phone time or drop by visits from your friends until you are through the transition.  What keeps you from feeling alone when you are not engaged in your schedule?  I started to write for this very reason and I have been both surprised and delighted by the community of bloggers who are there to share the journey with me.

Even more than that, I’ve had to learn that alone is OK.  This is a huge statement.  We spend so much of our lives trying to find that perfect partner or situation, so we will be guaranteed there is no alone.  One way or another, life will hand you alone time.  The relationship you have with yourself is what’s most important.  Learning to be your own friend and feeling loved and cared for by YOU, is one of the best skills you can have in life.  What does alone feel like for you?  How can you develop that relationship with yourself?  ♥

In today’s society we have a lot of distractions.  We are bombarded with sounds, images, people, traffic, media, you name it!  Sometimes all this stimulation is invigorating.  It both inspires and entertains us with its variety.  Other times all these distractions can be destructive, because it keeps you from hearing your own voice.  We need some time to sit in the quiet in order to reconnect with ourselves.

Being in the quiet is not as easy as it sounds.  Try an experiment.  Turn off all phones, televisions, computers, lights, etc.  Whatever you would normally have going as you move through your day.  Now try just spending a few moments with this quiet.  At first, you might think you’re going to have a mini-breakdown.  It’s like coming off of caffeine,  you’ll be a little edgy.  Once this initial withdrawal has subsided, something amazing happens.  First, you start to feel more at peace.  Second, you begin to hear your own thoughts and feelings.  Third, you’ll begin to hear the sounds of nature, you might even hear birds chirping!

It’s a mystery to me, why we spend so much time not listening to our own inner wisdom, because it has so much value.  Being in the quiet helps us to be grounded in a world that keeps us in the air most of the time.  Listening to your own wisdom is essential to being present in your life and making sure you are moving in the right direction.  Why don’t you schedule some quiet and see for yourself?  Let me know how it goes.  ♥ 

Sometimes you are rolling along in life, thinking everything is status quo, moving through your days and nights, until IT happens.  The Red Flag is thrown.  This can be anything, an accident, a financial reversal, a health crisis, the end result is that you are forced to face something you have been ignoring for a very long time.  The universe is basically telling you that its time to snap out of it, and deal with whatever has been lurking on the back burner.

The size of the red flag is in direct relationship to your need to address the problem.  Some red flags are little, in fact they are so little, that you can possibly ignore them.  This, of course, is a bad idea, but we all do it.  It works for  a while until the next red flag is thrown.  This time its a little larger and harder to sweep away.  You see the point I’m making.  Ignoring your red flags can only lead to setbacks and suffering.  You have to face head on what you have been denying or hiding.  It takes effort and courage to face a red flag, but it’s also a great time to make a 180 degree turn in your life.  Think of it as coming to the fork in the road… now you will choose to go a different direction.

Can you think of any red flags that you have been ignoring?  Have you had any giant upsets in the past because you ignored too many of them?  Remember, the universe is always communicating with us, if we choose to be aware and accept the information.  Use these reminders to make changes for the better.  ♥

I found myself looking through old photos the other night.  I have boxes of these things, all documenting my journey in life.  Every time I go through them, I am reminded of just how far I’ve come.  (I also think they need to be organized and in a better format… projects, projects!)

My life has been so different from what I imagined it would be as I was growing up.  I always imagined I’d have a big wedding, a big house, and a bunch of kids and dogs!  I didn’t even want to go to college.  I remember begging my parents to let me go to beauty school.  I could not understand why they wouldn’t let me just do “good hair”.   I never once thought that I would end up getting a Master’s degree, living in New York city, working in the fashion industry as a consultant, traveling the world, living in a condo, taking boxing classes, etc… You see where I’m going with this.

My life has been completely different from my imagination, yet it has exceeded my expectations for myself.  As I reviewed those photos, I see that the Universe has had a plan for me all along and I have been on course from the very beginning.  Just as Steve Jobs said in his famous speech, I have been able to look back and connect the dots that lead me to where I am today.  You know what?  I don’t always understand the events that come to pass, but I am grateful and I know that the “master plan” is in play.  I trust and have faith that my life is moving according to plan, even when I don’t recognize it!

How does your life look from the rearview mirror?  Do you see the path?  How does that make you feel?  Remember that we are all guided and trust that your path is unfolding exactly as it should. ♥

I’ve been checking out other blogs for the past couple days.  Suddenly, I realize that other people are writing these beautiful posts about life and their experience of it.  I am humbled by their words, the honesty with which they share, and the messages they are sending through the universe.  It’s very inspirational.

Blogging for me, has been about self discovery and healing.  The exercise and discipline of writing a new entry each day has lead me on an unusual journey.  The entries I have written are not at all what I was expecting to create, yet as I reread them, they are “just right” for my journey.  I wonder how many other bloggers are discovering the same thing as they write?  We are discovering ourselves in a new way.  I love this journey of writing and what it inspires in myself and others.  The dialog we create connects us with like souls and ignites conversations that would otherwise not happen.  The more honestly we share with each other and the world, the better our journey becomes.  

So, for all of you fellow bloggers… keep discovering and keep writing, I’m witnessing some greatness! ♥

%d bloggers like this: